The Secret Life of Shauna's Plant

The lonely life of a potplant in Edinburgh.

Thursday, June 17, 2004

How to water indoor plants.

Monday, June 14, 2004

Wet and Wild

Just when I thought I was going to die of thirst, this morning I heard the door open. This tall pale bloke pushed it open a crack and peered through. 'You're not going to try any funny stuff, are you?' He edged into the room, keeping as far away from me as possible. 'I read what you said in your blog. Turn me into blood and bone and I'm chucking you out the window.' Ha! I was just kidding, Mister Watering Man. Now give me that H20.

He filled up the glass in the sink and reached cautiously over to my pot, carefully staying clear of my leaves. 'One glass, that's all you're getting.' Bastard! And that's supposed to do me for how long? One measly glass in five days! It's enough to make you photosynthesise.

Friday, June 11, 2004

I am Not a Number, I am a Free Plant!

So apparently my name is Duncan. I told you nobody tells me anything. But luckily I can sit here reading Shauna's blog through the WiFi connection in my trunk. She's in Denmark! Going to Sweden! And now I'm wondering about that cosmonaut photo... ooohhhh, the suspense.

I could kill for a spot of blood and bone. I wonder when that plant waterer is turning up. He's made of blood and bone, isn't he? I wonder if I could take him with my bare leaves...

Thursday, June 10, 2004

I wish I was a Venus Fly Trap.

If a fly flies past one of those, is it a Transit of Venus Fly Trap?

Water!

Occhhh, I have a terrible thirst on me.

It's Not Easy Being Green

It's very quiet here in Shauna's room. Miss S left early yesterday morning, much earlier than usual, and she hasn't come back! I have no freaking idea where she's gone. Nobody tells me anything. Don't you humans know that talking to plants makes us feel better? That means keeping us in the loop, people! And where's my water?

I'm sorry, I'll try not to be so negative. Must stay calm. Destress, plant, destress. Furl leaf... unfurl leaf. Furl leaf... unfurl leaf.

Ahhhhhhh.